Gone Drinkin'

I'm going to a Super Bowl party this Sunday. I like football just fine, and I'm happy that the Niners are back in the game, but I've recently admitted to myself that I'm just not an NFL kinda guy. I've been a baseball fan all my life, and have been counting the days since the last out of the World Series. It helps that the Giants are world fucking champions again, but I've always looked forward to Spring Training, no matter what my team's prospects are for the coming season.

I'm much more interested in Sunday's party than in watching the actual game. Sure, I'll pay moderate attention to the TV, and I'll watch the funny new commercials, but I'll be paying much more attention to the type of shenanigans that two dozen drunken morons can get into. Mrs. Arone is out of town - not that it really matters, because we have mostly separate lives these days anyway, but I do feel more comfortable knowing that she'll be in a different state as I challenge the upper limits of my tolerance for alcohol consumption. It's been a few months since I had a drink, and at least 8 months since I last really drank. I used to drink much more, I just got kinda bored with it. I also get all hot and sweaty when I drink. As an already hot-and-sweaty fat guy, this is not ideal. I am, however, willing to make the sacrifice this one time.

What gives me pause, however, is that the partygoers are almost all going to be strangers to me, and are likely to be significantly younger than I am. The host is a former coworker, one with whom I actually get along very well, but who is only 26. I'm 39, but feel about 49 physically and 79 mentally. These kids were what, three or four years old when Kurt Cobain died? What the hell are we going to talk about? Skype? I hear the kids talk about that shit all the time. Some kind of new shoe polish, I think. Assholes.

I'm gonna have to learn these young whippersnappers a lesson. I can shotgun a beer so fast, I was nicknamed Hemingway in college. These guys have no fucking idea. I may or may not update this site again before the game. Either way, I'll make a report on Monday, once the judge sets bail.