Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Really? She was flirting?

Writing the last little update was good for me - it reminded me of so many great public transportation stories I have.

As background, you should know that I'm not particularly perceptive when it comes to social cues.I sometimes need things explained to me like I'm a slow child, at least the first time.  For example, I changed schools between 8th and 9th grades - from elementary school to high school.Nobody knew me at the new school, and I thought I could "start fresh," and not be such a Dorkus Malorkus all the time.  First week of the new semester, I was passed a note in class by some girl.  "My friend thinks you're cute!"  My response?  "Tell her to tell me herself."  Yeah, I was a virgin until I was 23.

Point is, I miss some obvious social things.

I remember being on the bus with my wife, this time definitely AFTER we were married.  14-Mission line, standing room only, next to a younger, attractive hipster-looking chick, vintage late 90s-early 2000s.  As an aside, I have words burned into my arms - something like this, but on my arms, long-healed so not red and raw, and not stupidly advertising some band.  I'm not sure how the conversation started, but at some point, Cute Hipster Girl looked at my arms and said, "You scar well!"  There might even have been some touching of my scars - the details are hazy, and I don't remember much else about the whole interaction.  Mrs. Arone grabbed me by the arm and said "Our stop, let's go!", and we debarked almost immediately.

I kinda thought my wife was going to rip out Cute Hipster Girl's throat with  her teeth.  Apparently, in San Francisco, "You scar well" is obvious flirtation, though I had no idea.  "Can you believe the balls on her, I was standing right there!  You have your wedding ring on!  Bitch, that's MY man!" And I honestly don't think I'm making that last sentence up.

She's gotten over it, though, and she sometimes comes up, rubs my arms, and says in a sultry voice, "Oooh, you scar well!"

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