Yesterday, I complained that my lack of job has led to an end to the constant stream of ready anecdotes. A result of working in retail is that there are always stories about humorous customers, but it's also true that the simple fact of interacting with the rest of humanity results in strange things sometimes happening. Clearly, I just need to leave the house more often, because when I do, stupid stuff surely follows.
I'm (attempting to be) a writer. I exaggerate at times. I take artistic license. Stuff you read here should be assumed to be generally true, but with some massaging of reality in the interest of humor. But I swear to Dawkins, Jesus, Allah, whatever you believe in, that I am not making up this Safeway shit. I've written about the strange problems I seem to have at the LaPlaya Safeway near Golden Gate Park on three previous occasions. It's become a running joke between me and my roommate. This morning, when she passed my room on the way to the bathroom, she asked "Anything stupid happen at the store, haha?" And of course, the answer was "Yes."
I go in the early morning to avoid crowds. The aisles are full of boxes, but that's OK. Nice trade-off, usually - the boxes in the aisles are always off to the side, unless they are actively being stocked, so there are no major traffic issues.
Two very minor things this morning - no green beans and no chicken. Yeah, no fucking chicken in the whole store, and only canned green beans. Blech. Pork chops and salad for dinner tonight instead. Disappointing, but no big deal. Bacon and whipping cream were on sale pretty cheap, so I called it a wash.
I only needed a few things. I was in the back of the store, at the end of the aisles, and turned down the kitchen supply aisle. I needed dish soap, all the way at the front end of that aisle, right where a couple of employees were stocking. I rolled down the aisle toward them. they looked at me, and kept stocking. That's awesome, I don't need to be greeted. If I have a question, I'll ask. I got to the soap and grabbed one. I rolled a couple more feet to where the first dude was stocking mops from a big long box. The box was just barely in my way - if I'd been alone, I'd have just pushed it out of the way with my cart, but the guy was actively using the box. He saw me approach, and continued working.
"Is there any way I could squeeze by?", I asked. He reached down for another mop and paid me no mind. So I said, "If you want me to go the long way around, just tell me, don't fucking act like I'm not even here."
He stopped working and turned his head. His coworker a few feet away, who had seemingly not been paying attention, hissed "Move, dude!" The first guy shot him a dirty-ass look, sullenly kicked the mop box the necessary 6 inches, and turned away to contemplate the meaning of life.
As with the last time, nobody involved offered me even a fake, insincere apology. I don't particularly care about that, it just appears to be emblematic of LaPlaya Safeway service. I'll go back, as long as they're the only nearby place to go for groceries at that time of day.
And the guy in front of me in line at 4:45 A.M. had a single item - a tube of Farmer John's liverwurst. The fuck?
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