I Really, Really Hate Bugs

Sand fleas. We've got sand fleas. Or at least the cats do. I feel like I talk about the cats too much. But if every time I turn around, there's a hairball on the floor or an unwelcome anus in the face, there's only so much I can do. You have to write what you know, and right now, I know fleas.

There's only one possible place they could have come from - the beach a few blocks away. Y'see, I am an avowed sun-avoider. I love the light, and I love a nice Spring day, but I am white. Not quite Edgar Winter-level, but decidedly pale. I have burned on a cloudy day. But goddammit, it was Mackenzie's turn to pick the afternoon's activity, and she wanted to go to the beach. Not sure of her reasoning, as it's been colder than day-old piss around here, but at least it wasn't crowded. Much fun was had, and the day was soon forgotten.

Fast-forward about a month. The cats were miserable. As soon as I got paid, I took Trudy to the vet. Sand fleas was the verdict, and she even specifically asked if I had been to the beach lately. Grr...

I'm not really that mad. The medicine (Advantage II) prescribed was like some kind of Ebola for fleas - they appear to be gone, only a few days after treatment. And over the decade or so we've had them, the cats have cost us almost nothing other than food and litter. It's worth the companionship. Sometimes I'm stupid though, and I start to imagine that they think like I do.

About eight or so years ago, we lived in a house with lots of windows looking out on grass and trees and whatnot. The cats (we only had two of them at the time, I think, as I look back on it) loved sitting at the windows and talking to the birds. So I got the bright idea of taking them outside! I went out and bought them a couple of hot-pink mini harnesses and leashes. Nothing restrictive of the neck, of course. I had grand visions of walking them like dogs. Yes, this is the point in the story where the reader points and laughs at the moron. For me to have even considered such an idea seems impossible, in hindsight. You can see where this is going, I'm sure.

When the doctor finally took the stitches out, it was the happiest day of my life.